Stuck Between the Person I Was and The Person I'm Called To Be

Any season of transformation feels like a Chicago winter...long, but you know something great is coming. Contrary to the belief of some in this world, change doesn't always come at the end of a sudden revelation. It doesn't come at the wave of a wand. It doesn't come in a Christmas box.

Getting to where you're calledto go isn't as easy as simply pointing it out on the map, ESPECIALLY if you don't have a map. You need to figure out the "best" way to get to point B...mind, body and spirit...full presence.

Will you go the fast and easy route? What are you gaining and what are you losing when you choose this route?
Do you have the resources and drive to take the road less traveled?
Will you take in the scenery or is it too distracting?
Can you be fully present if you're on a schedule and others are waiting?
What will you take with you? Be cautious and prepare for all possible issues? Not possible. So scrap the packrat idea.
Take as little as possible. Sounds good, but will you be bold enough to do that? Bold enough to know that you will need to rely on others and on your sense of survival?
These are the questions that rattle around in my head.

Speaking of boldness...we've talked about knowing the place you need to go and how to prepare for the journey BUT we've not talked about the courage to MOVE. I read somewhere that a male character of the Bible (I forget who) kept praying for God to show him the way to go in his life. His wife, tired of his incessant prayers and not quite sure what to say, yelled, "Do NOT ask Him to show you the way if you are not willing to move your feet!!".

Who I was appears to be similar but different from who I am and I am definitely working my way to whom I'm called to be. As a seminarian on the slow track to ministry, I feel very much in between. I feel myself putting the pedal to the metal in my God-mobile but someone has put a 2-cylnder engine (not even a 4-cylinder) into my vehicle...as if to say "all in due time". Anyone else feeling that?

Replay

It seems like we're constantly in a kind of "replay" mode in our lives. We're doing something over and over again OR time has lapsed between a behavior or thought but yet repeated itself. Here I am again...thinking about restarting this blog. And I will rinse and repeat until I get to the right conclusion for me.

To Begin Again

"On the third day the friends of Christ coming at daybreak to the place found t...he grave empty and the stone rolled away. In varying ways they realized the new wonder; but even they hardly realized that the world had died in the night. What they were looking at was the first day of a new creation, with a new heaven and a new earth; and in a semblance of the gardener God walked again in the garden, in the cool not of the evening but of the dawn." ~GKC: 'The Everlasting Man

I've "begun again" so many times mentally, that I think this makes me only 2 years old in brain years *lol* But I've never thought about it the way G.K. Chesterton did...about humankind beginning again when Christ rose from the dead. But I did see us as redeemed and our souls refreshed with a tabula rasa in a sense that was up to us to keep clean and tell others about.

If only every conflict could end with the phrase "yes, we can start over as if this never happened...let's go back to a time when all was right between us".

So once again this year, I have the opportunity to help raise funds/awareness for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. I'll be walking in the AFSP Out of the Darkness Community Walk this year and need walkers as well as donations :)Unlike the walk last year, this one is 3-5 miles and is NOT overnight. Also, there is no registration fee or minimum to raise.

The event is on September 25, 2010 to honor those who have lost their lives, support those who have survived and educate all those who suffer from depression and other factors that might lead someone to suicidal thoughts/actions. The message of Christ's love is an important banner that I wish to carry in my conversations with people I hope to meet that day.

Join me to walk for this great cause, walk for your own health and to enjoy the beautiful scenery at the Chicago Botanic Gardens? If you would like to be part of my team, please search for the team name at www.outofthedarkness.org and you can register through the team page! If you cannot join, but would like to make a donation, please see me or click on "Make a Donation" on the top right side of the home page for the walk (www.outofthedarkness.org). No donation is too small!

Covering all the Bases - An Update (again?)

The following is an email I sent recently to many of my friends, but I inevitably miss someone so I'm posting this here too! Please forgive the duplication :)

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I wanted to pass on some updates about The "Out of the Darkness" Overnight Walk (www.theovernight.org/team/resoundinggrace).

My teammate Shannan has raised her $1,000 minimum for the walk! WAY TO GO, LADY!
As of this morning, I'm 63% of the way to my goal. I had a HUGE surge in that number this weekend thanks to two wonderful ladies from Shannan's church (thanks Deb and Chris!!). June 27th will come sooner than we think!
For those of you who received Shop&Share slips - please remember to use those today or tomorrow (or BOTH). I know some of you are stocking up for Memorial Day, so this would be a great way to contribute without going beyond your means. If you didn't receive slips, I am getting one scanned today so I can send them via email (some may have got lost in the mail and some didn't go out because of my lack of planning/time). 5% of the total purchases will be donated by Jewel to our team!

For everyone, please keep Team Resounding Grace in your thoughts and prayers as we head into the home stretch of training and fundraising. We have already met our initial goal of raising awareness about the shrouded world of suicide. Suicide affects more people than we know and we've heard some stories that we may have never heard before this initiative. Every 16 minutes, someone dies from suicide. I hope that if you've ever contemplated this, that you share your story or at least find someone to just listen to your worries and sorrows. Consider sharing your burden with me. We need to continue to talk about it and depression after the event as well. Please support those who are doing what they can to research and treat the causes of depression. There is a need for everyone to lend an ear and two arms to embrace those affected.


Thank you for reading this!
Annette

Jewel Shop & Share Slips are Here!

Come and git it! Send me your address and I'll send you a couple of Shop&Share slips so you too can be part of the fundraising action! Take the slip to checkout on Monday, May 18 or Tuesday, May 19 OR Wednesday, May 20 (or ALL those days!) and you will contribute to the grand total. 5% of that total will be donated to Team Resounding Grace for the Overnight Walk!

I still need more donations. We're down to about 5 weeks away and if I don't raise another $650, my teammate will be walking alone.

The Out of the Darkness event is symbolic of moments when we feel we are walking alone in the darkness with no hope in sight. If you've always had hope, you're fortunate. Some people can seem to see hope and we want to walk into that sunrise to show them there's always hope and that thousands care & will walk for them...millions overall will be with them in spirit all over this country and potentially the world.

I know that I can make my goal of $1,000. I just need your help. Please consider a one-time contribution to show your support for those who feel they have none.
Thank you.

The Overnight Walk 2009

I will be walking this June for a cause that has no familiar ties to my life. I didn't lose a relative or a friend to this maladity. I simply heard about someone from someone else that came close to the edge. My walk is for suicide prevention.

It's been a long journey so far. Some sympathize with the cause and contribute. Others seem to sympathize but either they do not believe this is something preventable, feel it's something that the person "chose", or they are all "given out"; too many groups needing help, too little money to give TO help.

My goal with a blog is two-fold...to raise awareness and hopefully raise funds. The Overnight Walk by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention requires a minimum of $1,000 to walk in their event. For a split second, in the beginning, this seemed like too much for me to raise. But then God took over. I'm at about 32% of my goal at this time.

Team Resounding Grace, which includes myself and my friend Shannan, is driven to bring to light this shrouded condition of depression and the act of suicide. It affects anyone and everyone somehow. Postpartum moms, doctors, the elderly (for whom I wrote "The Senior"), college-age students, high schoolers, fathers, mothers, the unemployed. If there is something that made your world seemingly fall apart, you may have been on the edge too.

The AFSP raises funds to use in researching the cause of depression. Every 16 minutes, someone falls vicitim to suicide. I'm not waiting until someone close to me gets there...I'm taking a stand now for them and others who suffer in silence in their situations or who suffer from the loss of someone dear to them.

I hope you will join us.

www.theovernight.org/team/resoundinggrace
Walker: Annette Hernandez